Screaming Underwater
by goldenquilled
Summary: Everyone knows that Ben drowned. However, nobody knows exactly who or what caused him to drown, or even who he really was when he was alive. The truth has been well-guarded by Ben for years now, but, unfortunately for him, secrets were not meant to be kept forever. (A Ben Drowned origin story)
1. Storm

Chapter 1: Storm

~ I HATE YOU! I really, really hate you! How could you just leave when we needed you? You say you're courageous, but you're really just a BIG FAT COWARD! All you've ever done is run away. Do you think running from one place to the next will let you live a normal life? I don't recall that ever working in your favor in the past. You're never there when people need you because you are so absorbed in your own self-pity. And we _really_ need you. My Dad really needed you. But instead of trying to help you decided you were bored with us and decided to try out a different part of the country. And now I'm here all alone, straight out of the hospital, with half of my so-called family gone and my father is a wreck. A FUCKING WRECK! That's right, little miss innocent is so mad she's cussing – with words YOU taught me, you scum – and it's all your fault! And the worst part is that I thought you actually _cared _about me – about us. I thought you were my best friend. Hell, I thought you were my BROTHER! But no, you just didn't care. You never cared. And quite frankly, I don't care about _you _that much either! And if I had known that you were EVIL when we first met, I would have begged for you to be sent back and found another kid who can _actually _feel affection. I don't even know WHY I'm bothering to write this letter to an emotionless robot like you. Maybe I'm hoping that you'll finally understand how disgusting you are and just… leave everyone alone. Yeah, I think that would make my entire life so much better. You know, I really don't have the time or energy to keep writing anymore. I hope that if you ever have any memory of me, it will be this letter. Let's pray we never meet again. ~

X

The rain pounded against the weak roof, trying desperately to get inside the run-down home. The wind helped the rain in the battle with its powerful gales and dull growls. This resulted in small puddles being formed on the dirtied carpet and unsettling creaks coming from the walls. This was all topped off with intense thunder that seemed to grow louder with every strike. It was a night designed specifically for people to stay indoors and wait for the storm to end.

A young boy sat in an oversized armchair by the window of the home, peering outside to watch downpour ravage a small tree in the front yard. The wind shook it violently in every direction as the water hammered into its bark and leaves. The chaotic dance mesmerized the boy into staring at it, though it also unnerved him quite a bit. If a tree couldn't withstand the forces of nature, what hope was there for a toddler like himself? Then again, he was pretty helpless against most dangers he encountered. He learned that, among many other things, at an unfortunately early age.

While the boy sat in silence, his mother worked tirelessly to clean up the puddles caused by the leaky roof, as she had been since the storm started. Trying her best to do this on top of her daily chores and taking care of her young son caused her to become even more tired than usual. Her mascara had run down her pale face and her once golden-blonde hair was now disheveled and greasy. Through her work, she kept a close eye on her only son, who thankfully stayed both out of the way and out of trouble. It was not unusual for him to act rambunctious from time to time, most likely a trait he picked up, either from genetics or observation, by his father. His father, who should have arrived home over an hour ago.

It was then when the headlights of the father and husbands car could be seen through the thick rain. "Dad's here." the boy said to his mother solemnly. She nodded. Though they were both glad he could make it home safely, they also knew that he would not be happy about the storm. The headlights turned off, and a moment later the door opened. The man looked even more disheveled than usual, with his clothes and hair hurled around by powerful gusts and dripping with rainwater. His torn jeans were also caked in mud, though he didn't seem to mind as he stomped into the living room with a trail of the muck closely following him. His wife would need to clean that up before it became a nuisance it him.

The unkempt man strode over to his armchair. "Get out." He said to the child who had taken unauthorized occupancy in the seat. The child decided that he should be polite to his father. His mother had told him a while ago that his father was going through some things right now, and that he should be on his best behavior from now on. She would not tell him exactly what his father was going through, so he decided to simply be polite in general. That seemed like a good move at the time, since his father did not seem very happy at the moment.

"Hello, Dad" said the boy in his tiny voice. He even decided to gift his father with one of his rare smiles. His father did not seem to appreciate the effort.

"I said, _get out"_ he growled, now towering over the boy. The boy's eyes widened and he scurried away and towards his mother, who had been cleaning in the kitchen (which was really the same room as the living room). She had witnessed the short exchange, and decided to respond to it with a small, hidden sigh. The boy hid behind his mother, who had grabbed an old rag and was about to clean up the mud that was just tracked in. However, when she looked down at her son, she stopped what she was doing. Although the child would never admit to it, he was a little scared of his father, especially when he ordered him around. She must have seen his fear, because she walked up to her husband.

"You should be nice to Ben" she suggested, though the tone of her voice indicated that it was more like an order. It was a voice the boy was not used to hearing her use. Her husband seemed surprised for a split second, but then returned to his default irritated expression.

"I was being nice" he said matter-of-factly, trying to brush her off and go back to doing nothing.

"No, you weren't. Being nice involves using words like _please _and _thank you, _not ordering people around." Her voice raised in volume. The boy, Ben, had lost the human shield that was his mother and compromised with backing into the corner. His parents were fighting, or at least were going to. Usually it was just his father doing the yelling, but if they were both angry at each other, Ben knew he would not want to stick around.

"He's my son. I'm not going to treat him like he's writing my goddamn paycheck."

"I'm just asking you to treat him like a human being!"

"I'll treat him _and_ you however the _fuck_ I want!" The father jolted up from the chair.

That was when Ben decided to make his escape. With his parents too preoccupied with each other and their rage to notice, he darted off down the hallway and into his bedroom. He quietly closed the door, making sure his absence would go unnoticed. He waited be the door for one, two, three long moments, listening for sounds of footsteps following him. He heard nothing but the muffled shouts resonating from the living room. Ben let out a breath. He was safe. For now.

His father was always the one who yelled, and he and his mother always stayed quiet. That was how things had worked for as long as he could remember. But tonight, that system was broken. Now both his parents yelled, and he was alone. Even though his mother was technically defending him, he felt he had lost the only person he could share the quiet with.

Was he supposed to start shouting as well? That didn't seem like a good idea. He had tried that once, a long time ago, and he wound up hurting himself. He didn't want to be hurt again. Then again, his mother hurt herself while still staying quiet, so maybe the trick to staying safe was something else entirely.

A bright light suddenly burst into his room, and a sudden booming sound made the young boy jump. He scrambled to the covers of his bed and buried himself underneath the thin sheets. Now that he was alone in his dark bedroom, the storm seemed much more menacing to the small child. He wished he could be back in his mothers company, even if just in the same room as her, but the continuous shouting of both her and his father was enough to keep him in his bed until morning. Ben closed his eyes, hoping that he would be able to fall asleep.

That was when the screaming started.

His mother had hurt herself, just as he had done once before. Ben clenched his eyes tighter, as if hoping it would convince sleep to arrive faster. It didn't work. It never worked.

Outside, raindrops punched the innocent little house near its breaking point as the thunder roared at it in anger.

Both storms continued on.

X

Ben didn't think he would be able to fall asleep, but apparently he did, because someone had to gently shake him by the shoulder to wake him up. He could still hear the rain, but the thunder and wind had died down a bit. The shouting and screaming had also stopped, which was relieving.

The child poked his head out from under his blanket-cocoon and saw the silhouette of his mother looking down on him. It was still night time, so the room was pitch black except for the cloud-covered moonlight that entered through the dirty window. Ben was not used to being awake at this hour.

"Sweetie, it's time to wake up." she said softly. Her voice was still a bit hoarse from earlier. She carefully took the blankets off of her son and placed them to the side. "Come on, honey, let's go." She left the room quietly, and Ben pushed himself out of bed and followed behind her.

He followed her into the living room, which was now in disarray. Objects that once occupied tables and shelves were now scattered across the floor. The armchair that he had sat in hours ago was now on its side, and the small table that sat close to it now only had three legs to balance on. The final leg was lying on the sofa on the other side of the room. The mud on the floor still needed to be wiped up. His father was not present.

His mother grabbed her coat from an upturned coat holder and put it on. The coat hung loosely from her thin frame; it would not fit her anymore, but still kept her warm. She held out her son's coat, indicating that he should put it on. He took it from her hands but would not wear it.

"Where are we going?" he asked. This was starting to get strange. His mom had never done anything like this before, waking him up at night and taking him places on a whim. His mother didn't answer him right away; she instead stared off into the distance, her mind far away from their run-down home. Finally, she answered, though her voice seemed distant:

"Somewhere where we can't be hurt anymore."

Ben did not have a good feeling about this. He had never seen his mother act this way before. She was usually a very down-to-earth and loving person, but now she seemed like a completely different human being. It was as if she was being guided along by another person in her head. This was something Ben would not tolerate. His mother was probably the only person he cared for, and she was the only one who cared for him. He couldn't lose her. He just couldn't.

His mother was already opening the front door when she noticed that Ben had not put on his coat yet. She let out a sigh. "Let's go, Ben" she said tiredly. Ben did not move.

"No" was all he said in return. His mother just gave a larger, heavier sigh and walked over to him. She took the jacket out of his small hands and began to put it on her son. He immediately resisted, but his mother held him firmly. "No!" he yelled, his voice much, much louder than he anticipated. Both of them stood still for several moments. The room turned dead quiet. All they could hear was the pattering of raindrops dripping through the roof.

"Be quiet, you'll wake your father." she whispered. Ben no longer struggled as his mother buttoned up his small jacket. However, when she walked back to the door, he once again stood his ground. His mother, who had seemingly more important things to do than deal with her son, simply picked him up and carried him out into the rain and into the beat-up old car parked outside.

They drove for a very long time. Exactly how long they drove Ben could not be certain, since the digital clock in the car didn't work. The cars heater was also broken, making the drive very cold for the two of them. Eventually Ben tried to fall back asleep, but by that time the thunder had picked up again, and would jar him awake every time he started to nod off. All of that, combined by the eternal storm outside and the car's mysterious rattling, made the journey downright unpleasant.

When they finally reached their mysterious destination, they were no longer in the rural area Ben was raised in, but in a small town. Ben's mother parked the car in a cozy location, nestled between a tree and a bush. The rear of the car was poking out from the foliage, and could probably be spotted if someone was looking for it.

Ben's mother turned to him and looked him right in the eyes. The moon had temporarily poked out from behind the clouds, illuminating her face. Now that she was finally in the light, Ben could see that her face was covered in fresh bruises. Something about them made her seem a bit more delicate than usual, though that may have been due to the odd look she was giving him. She leaned in closer to her son.

"I'm going to leave now. I need you to stay in the car. Can you do that for me?" Ben nodded, not fully understanding what was going on. "Thank you." She said, and then continued, "Don't open the door for anyone but me or the police, ok?" Again Ben nodded. This whole night was starting to seem a bit surreal, like an unusually lucid dream. Thunder struck, but neither of them seemed to notice or care.

Ben's mother looked deep into his eyes for a bit longer, before suddenly wrapping him into a big, tender hug. Ben could hear his mother's heart racing. "I love you." she said softly into his ear. Ben hugged her back, welcoming the warmth radiating from her slender body.

"I love you too, Mom."

His mother looked at him one last time, and then opened the door and stepped out into the rain. Ben watched her leave, never taking his eyes off her until her outline disappeared behind the rain. Even then, he gazed closely at the spot he had last seen her for several moments. He missed her already.

So he followed her.

Ben may have been only a toddler, but he was exceptionally smart for one his age. He knew that his mother's actions weren't normal. She wouldn't drive him away from their home in the dead of night just to leave him in the car unless there was something bizarre going on. That, combined with the unusually intimate goodbye they had just shared, made him come to the conclusion that something awful was about to happen.

He ran off in the general direction the silhouette of his mother disappeared into, which led him through a thick growth of trees and brambles. The heavy rain turned the dirt on the ground into a slick mud. Ben's foot suddenly met with a jutting tree root, causing him to trip and fall hard to the ground. He pulled himself to his knees and held the side of his face gingerly; it had been cut be a low hanging branch as he fell. It stung him a bit, and it didn't help when the mud on his hands started to seep into the open wound. Despite that, he carefully picked himself up and continued after his mother.

It didn't take him long to exit the thin foliage, and he found himself next to an expansive lake that he vaguely remembered his mother driving over when coming there. He looked around, but couldn't see anything resembling his mother in the darkness. Ben had lost her. He suddenly realized how cold he was, and how he was now soaked to the bone. The wind whipped his blonde hair at his face, irritating the fresh cut that suddenly hurt a lot more than before. He was covered in mud and water, and he felt so cold. So alone.

Then, lightning struck, and Ben jumped. The loud booming echoed across the lake, making the area feel incredibly empty. Another flash of light closely followed it, but this time Ben was ready for it, and didn't jump.

It was then, during that brief moment of light that illuminated the sky and the tree and the water, that Ben saw it. On the bridge that connected the road from one side of the lake to the other, was a figure. A small, slender figure that walked along the length on the bridge away from Ben. He had a destination again.

Ben turned right and ran toward the road where the bridge began. Now that he was in the clearing by the lake, he travelled much faster. Soon he arrived at the road and ran on the bridge and towards his mother, who had stopped walking.

As he got closer, however, he noticed something very wrong. There was a railing that protected him and passing vehicles from falling off the sides of the bridge. His mother, for whatever reason, was standing on the wrong side of the railing, her feet edging off the sides of the bridge. Ben, struggling to understand the situation, ran as fast as he could towards his mother, not bothering to pace himself to avoid tripping.

But she jumped before he could make it to her.

All Ben heard was a short, small scream before it was suddenly lost to the sound of rain and wind and water and thunder that filled the area. Ben ran up to where his mother stood only half a moment ago and looked down into the harsh water, but all he saw was darkness and the rain hitting the lake.

"Mom!" he screamed, but received no answer. He screamed again, and again, but every time he was only answered by the sounds of the storm screaming back at him. The moon poked out from between the blackened clouds as if to watch the spectacle. Eventually Ben's shouts were reduced to sobs, tears disguised as rainwater flowing down his dirty, despair-contorted face.

Ben knew about death, but he never truly understood the concept of it until that moment, when the only person he could rely on left him forever. He also realised that he had never been really, truly alone until that moment. Now all he had to comfort him was the moon, which was already disappearing back behind the menacing clouds. He felt like he was empty.

The storm continued on.


	2. Perfect

Chapter 2: Perfect

~Dear Ben,

I am so sorry. I really am. Things have been so confusing for me lately, and when Dad said that you were gone, I just assumed that you left purely out of selfishness. When I asked Dad to mail the previous letter to you, he asked what it was, and I told him, and then he told me everything. I don't know why he didn't tell me the truth from the beginning. I guess things have been pretty hard for him lately. When he told me what happened, I started crying and screaming. I said some pretty mean things to him, like it was him that made you... leave, and that I wish he left instead of you. Then I ran to my room and cried a bit and then I remembered all the awful things I wrote in my letter so now I'm writing this and it was supposed to be an apology but now I'm just ranting and there's tears all over this paper and I said bad things to you and Dad and life will never be like it used to be before this all started and its all my fault.

I'm really just writing this for myself at this point, because even if you did read this letter, you would never forgive me after what I wrote just before this. But I hope that you can forgive me. And I hope that Dad will forgive me. I'll apologise to him soon, but right now I just need to be alone and take it all in. I can't remember if I mentioned this in the first letter, and to be honest I don't want to read it over to check, but I just got out of the hospital today. It's so great to be back home again, even if it's a bit messy now. I'll be going back to school soon, and I'll be getting a tutor to help catch up on all my missed work. It's not as good as having you around to help me, but it'll have to do.

I feel a little bit better now. I'm going to go apologise to Dad. I can't get mad at him. He and I are in this together now, and we can't afford to lose each other. Things haven't been easy for anyone lately, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make things right again.

I just wish you had stayed.

Love, Serena~

X

Ben was told that he was lucky. And in many ways, he was. A late-night driver had found him on the bridge before he had caught a cold or something worse. When Ben met with the police, he was initially stubborn, choosing not to say anything. But eventually information was coaxed out of him with calming words and soft smiles. The police were shocked at just what the young child had been through, and offered him many condolences, which Ben ignored.

Another reason Ben was lucky was because, while telling the police what had happened that night that caused him to be crying in the rain on a bridge, he mentioned how his mother had hurt herself. The police pushed for more information on how she was hurt, and Ben had no reason not to tell them. He even told them about when he had been hurt. The whole time, he remained in silent tears, though he did feel stronger than he did before. When the police finished their questioning, one officer put his hand on Ben's shoulder and told him that he would make sure that Ben didn't return to his father. The thought of being raised by only his father never crossed the child's mind that night, but he was glad it wouldn't be happening.

The third reason Ben was lucky was because he was being adopted. Apparently many children go their whole lives without being adopted, and the odds were even slimmer for anyone not considered a baby. But by only the morning after Ben found himself in the compassionate company of William and Amanda Lynn.

The Lynn's were a young, happy couple who felt that they were ready to have their first child together. The two were often seen as very kind and charitable people around their neighborhood. They chose to adopt a child instead of having one of their own because they understood how many innocent children live their lives without loving and supporting families, and wanted to help fill that void. When they heard about Ben's situation, they did not even hesitate to welcome him as the newest addition to their little family.

Ben was not as inviting.

The first time Ben met his new 'family', they had been all smiles and friendly greetings. Something about them seemed like they were trying too hard, though Ben had no idea why they would be. It seemed incredibly backwards that they were trying to make _him_ like _them_, but he really had no cause to complain. Or at least he didn't at first, but after a while the act started to really annoy him.

Throughout the car ride to Ben's new home, he was bombarded with questions about himself, most of which he had no answer for. The fact that he still a toddler and was mainly kept inside for most of his life until recently meant that he had very few life experiences.

"Are there any games you like to play?" Amanda asked from the passenger seat of the car.

"No." Ben replied in a tired, monotone voice.

"C'mon, there must be _something._" She pressured.

"Nope" Ben really didn't have an answer for her, but he also just didn't want to talk. Just the night before, he had witnessed his mother commit suicide. He didn't really feel up for idle chitchat.

"Well then, what _do_ you do to pass the time?" William asked. Something in voice sounded a bit accusing, but Ben chose to ignore it. He had a tendency to misread people's emotions, and that resulted in many mistakes that got Ben in trouble. The man was probably just trying to be polite.

"I read sometimes." Ben answered, which was the closest thing to a real answer the young couple had gotten in the whole car ride.

"You can read?" Amanda said surprised. Ben had no clue why. If he could talk, why wouldn't he know how to read and write?

"Yeah" he said, going back to single syllable answers.

"Looks like we have a bit of a genius on our hands, honey!" William said with fake enthusiasm. The two of them were quiet, waiting for Ben to thank the man for the compliment. Ben did no such thing, and instead looked out the window, watching the various tall buildings glide past him.

At last, there was a lull in the conversation. At last Ben had a chance to enjoy the peaceful drive and reflect on all the things that had recently happened. It all seemed so sudden. Just the other day he was in his cozy home with his mother. He had spent the day coloring a picture until the storm started, and he grew too unnerved to do much besides stare out the window. But now his mother was gone, and the only thing he had from his home was a small suitcase mostly filled with clothes and other personal items he needed. He never thought he would ever miss that run-down house, not that it wa-

"So what kind of things do you like to read, Ben?" Amanda interrupted his train of thought with another annoying question. Ben groaned internally. It was going to be a long car ride.

X

"...And this is your new bedroom!" Amanda, who now insisted on being called 'Mom', announced. She swung the door open, presenting the room that Ben was told to call his own from now on. The room in question reminded Ben a lot of the rest of the building. It had a bed with blue sheets that had enough room for seven of him to sleep comfortably. There were two different dressers that matched the white bed frame, the smaller of the two having an elegant mirror hanging above it. Across from the bed was a flimsy yet still elegant clock. Beside the bed was a nightstand with a lamp that was the same blue as the bed's blanket. There was even a potted plant by the window and three abstract paintings that matched the room's white and blue theme. If there was one word to describe the room, and the house in general, it would be 'catalogue '.

"It's too big" Ben said, not whining, but still complaining like a child would. He had a feeling that the couple had picked up on his bad attitude over the day, but decided to ignore it. At the same time, Ben had no intentions of cheering up, as he had absolutely no time with his own thoughts since he first met the couple. He felt like he was being smothered by their cheeriness and enthusiasm, and therefore felt he didn't owe it to them or anyone else to smile back.

"Don't worry," said 'Dad', "It'll feel a whole lot smaller once all your things are in here." He reassured. Ben knew this was a lie, though. The suitcase that held all the belongings that were salvaged from his home could easily and comfortably fit inside a single dresser drawer. Ben decided not to call him out on his lie, though. At this point, it just didn't seem worth the time.

"Speaking of which," 'Mom' continued, "we should probably start unpacking." She stepped into the large room and put his suitcase on the soft carpet and started zip it open.

"I'll do it myself." Ben said. This would be the perfect opportunity to have some much-needed time to himself and his mind. The couple exchanged a glance, their expressions unreadable to everyone but themselves, like a sort of secret language. This irritated Ben. He hated when people kept secrets from him.

"Alright, then. If you need any help, we'll be in the living room. You remember how to get there, right?" Ben nodded eagerly, his cold composure faltering for a moment before he quickly collected himself. The two waved goodbye like it was the last time they'd see him before walking out the door behind them, leaving him alone. More out of habit than anything else, Ben waited by the door for one, two, three long moments after they left before letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. At last, he could he him.

Ben hoisted himself onto the blue bed and sat down, crossing his legs. He sighed. The room was completely quiet besides the ticking of a clock on the wall adjacent to him. He took several deep breaths, calming himself down before he began to think.

_tick_

His mother was dead. Ben felt no need to sugar coat it anymore; it was just a fact. She had killed herself willingly, and had made the decision to end her life that night. Whether she had planned it in advance, or she had reached her breaking point after she hurt herself that night, Ben would never know.

_tick_

No, she didn't hurt herself. His father was the one who hurt her, and his father was the one who hurt him. It was his father who made his mother to commit suicide that night. It was his father that caused Ben to be snatched from his home and into this painfully perfect world.

_Tick_

But what was so wrong about this new life, this new family, and this new opportunity for normalcy? Ben knew that his old family was dysfunctional. That became apparent once he met this new 'average' family. He likely wouldn't have survived long in that old life. Should he shrug that whole world off like a heavy load and embrace this new life?

_Tick_

No. He didn't belong here. His place of belonging always has and always will be with his mother. Denying that would be like denying his own self, denying who he was. These people obviously now happy the way things were. They were lying to themselves, pretending that everything in the world is just perfect with their perfect smiles and perfect clothes and perfect life. It was painful for Ben to even think about them.

Tick

Ben would never be like them. No matter what the costs, Ben would make sure that he stayed true to himself. He would make sure that they didn't infect him with their counterfeit joy. He would make sure of it, even if it ended up killing him.

Tick

And maybe that was why his mother had ended it. It was not his father at all, but rather the lies that founded the earth and everyone in it. She, much like Ben, was not like the rest of society, and therefore had to die in order to hide from people like Ben's newfound faux family that tried so hard to change him from the moment they first met.

TICK

Suddenly, Ben lost his concentration. He couldn't quite remember what he was thinking about. He tried his best to remember, but it was like trying to grab something just out of his reach. He winced, only now realising that a throbbing headache had grown while he was distracted. Such intense, philosophical thinking was not easy for one as young as him.

TICK

Ben looked up at the clock. He realised that it was its loud ticking that had broken his concentration. He glared at it, but it still kept ticking away. He then found himself growling at it slightly like he had seen dogs do, but it persisted. What was its problem? Why was everything in the world so determined to keep Ben from comprehending his own broken life? What is the world trying to hide? Couldn't he be alone for one minute? Was that really too much to ask of the universe?

_tick_

Ben lost it.

He let out a loud shout before charging at the clock. Without thinking twice, he pulled it from the wall and threw it to the ground. When it didn't break, he picked it up and smashed it into the floor repeatedly until eventually it was nothing more but large splinters scattered along the carpet. When Ben no longer heard the infernal ticking, he stopped and stared at the mess. He couldn't believe that he did that. Usually he just kept things to himself, but this time he lost control. And something about it felt... good?

"What happened!?" he saw Amanda standing in the doorway, her hands covering her mouth. She must have heard his shouting. Ben just looked away from her and to the mess on the floor.

"Ben, what happened?" she asked, slightly calmer this time, but still with a lingering note of surprise.

"Won't tell those details to you." He said quietly, his voice completely calm and reserved. He didn't take his eyes off of what was once a very expensive clock.

"Excuse me?"

"Won't tell that to you" he said more loudly than before. He then decided to turn and look at his imposter mother. Her eyes looked hurt, like someone had just insulted her. In fact, she looked like she might start crying. Part of Ben felt awful. He didn't want to hurt anyone. He just wanted to be alone. But then he remembered that she was part of the reason he couldn't be alone. She was in the way. She deserved this.

That was when Ben saw it. He saw part of the code that held this perfect little word together. In order to maintain this false perfection, people depended on each other to follow rules. Rules that nobody set, yet somehow were universally followed. But if somebody interrupted the world's flow, put a stain in its flawless plan, then people would see him as an error. He would be cast out, seen as a flaw, and he could be away from all the lies in the world.

As long as Ben could continue to perform these small acts of chaos, then he wouldn't have to be bothered by others.

So that was exactly what Ben did.

X

It took nearly a month, but Ben eventually began to achieve peace. It was not easy, but he knew he had the courage it took to reach his goal. He had spent the majority of his life prior to recent events being scared of getting in trouble, but now that was his very goal. He had started out with simply breaking expensive-looking trinkets like the clock, and then started to deny his new parents the respect they wanted. He called them by their real names instead of 'Mom' and 'Dad', and said very little to them when they spoke to him. When he did speak, he didn't say what they wanted to hear.

Speaking of which...

"Ben, why do you keep doing this?" William asked. Ben was sitting on the sofa in the living room when he had stormed in, holding the cover of a book with half its pages ripped out and the other half covered in crayon. Apparently he did not appreciate Ben's latest artwork, which he had titled _Lord of Despise._

Ben remained silent. The man should have figured out Ben's motives by now. It William couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong by now, then everything that happened to him was only his own fault.

"Answer me, Ben." He was getting frustrated. Ben felt incredibly successful for being able to bring such perfect people so low. It almost made it worth being constantly annoyed. At least they were showing their true colors now.

"Benjamin Lynn, you will answer me!" That hurt. Even after weeks of work, they still insisted that Ben be assimilated a one of them. Ben would not take that.

"That's not my name." And it wasn't. Even though his last name had been changed during the adoption process, his first name was still simply Ben. It wasn't short for anything. His name, as far as the child was concerned, would always be Ben. That was who he was. Nobody would change that. Nobody.

Ben thought he was able to remain stoic, but William must have been able to see that he felt slighted. He sat down on the couch next to Ben and put the tattered novel on the coffee table. Ben refused to look at the man, instead studying the small hands that rested on his lap.

"Ben, me and Mo- erm, Amanda understand that things must have been very difficult for you lately." Ben widened his eyes slightly. The couple always referred to each other as 'Mom' and 'Dad' when he was around.

"But we just want to be there for you. Instead of taking everything out on us, just tell us what the problem is. We're family, and families are there for each other in their time of need. Me and Amanda, we've tried our best to make you as happy as we can, but we can't succeed unless you stop pushing us away."

Ben had heard the lecture before. Every time, Ben stayed quiet, and he was eventually left alone. That was great in short term, but it seemed things would never be completely fine unless Ben drove it in their thick skulls exactly what he wanted. Ben felt like he had lost some sort of game by telling William the problem, but it had to be done. Ben turned to the man, and said with all the confidence he could muster:

"I will never be a part of this family."

The two of them looked into each other's eyes for a moment before William sighed. "Yeah, I thought that was it." Ben didn't show it, but he was a bit surprised. It seemed these people weren't as dimwitted as they seemed. The man got up from the sofa and walked away, leaving Ben to himself in the empty living room.

He was alone, but he had no idea what to do. He stared at _Lord of Despise, _the pig on the cover staring back at him through the red scribbles he had drawn. It looked almost as if it was sad. For a moment, Ben felt like his actions were less like freedom fighting and more like a waste of a good book. But then he remembered that he had to do this. It was the only way things could be like they used to be, before life became a lie.

X

At first, Ben thought he had won.

He wasn't sure if there was one specific event that had caused the couple to break, or if it was the result of nearly two months of defiance, but that didn't really matter to him. The important thing was that they had given up. William and Amanda had told him that they were sorry, but it seemed they weren't cut out for being parents after all. He knew they were lying, of course, because they really just weren't cut out for being _his _parents. Ben had no problem with that, though. It made him feel special.

He was told that he would be living with a foster family. As far as he could tell, it would be like a real family but without the constant affection. This meant that he could be alone with himself, the only person that mattered to him anymore. Nobody to pester him with lies and deceit. Just Ben.

It didn't turn out that way, though. The people he was forced to stay with were an older couple who loved to smile and were very hospitable to guests and the children they cared for. When Ben had first met them, they had introduced themselves as Gerald and Katherine. They gave him a grand tour of the house the moment he arrived. The building was small, but not in the cozy and sheltering way his first home was. This one felt more... empty.

But what told Ben that he had now won after all was what the man said to him the moment he first saw him. It would seem innocent enough to anyone watching, and maybe even a tiny bit heartwarming. But for Ben, it was a sign that told him that his work was far from over:

"Hello Ben. We hope you'll feel right at home here with us. If you ever need anything, be sure to let us know."

Another perfect couple that refused to leave him alone. Another perfect couple that tries to assimilate him into their lying ways. Another perfect couple he would need to break.

Ben sighed. He guessed he just wasn't very lucky.


	3. Forgotten

Chapter 3: Forgotten

~Dear Ben,

It has been _way_ too long since we last talked. I found those letters I wrote to you when I first got home from the hospital stuffed into my junk drawer, and I got a bit nostalgic. I can't believe it's been over a year since I wrote those. I hope you don't feel ignored over in heaven, or wherever you're supposed to be. So anyways, I decided that I'd write another letter, because I still really miss you. Not that I even need to say that, since I'm sure you know already.

Dad's gotten a lot better. He seems happier now. I wonder if that's because I'm here now or if he's accepted everything that's happened. He used to avoid talking about you, but now you come up in casual conversation all the time. I think he actually did blame himself for what happened to you. Don't worry, though. Like I said, he's fine now.

My grades have gotten back up, and I've stopped needing a tutor. It's still pretty hard, since I did miss months of school. I haven't been able to play video games anymore. I just don't have the time. But I promise that as soon as I can I'm gonna beat OoT and then start playing your favorite game. I don't know how I'll be able to do it without you, though. You probably have more play time on my save file than I do just by helping me whenever I got stuck. I always tell people that my brother was the best Zelda player to ever exist. Then again, you'd never even held a controller until you met me, so I guess you have me to thank for discovering your talent.

I was worried that I would be alone in school now that you're gone, but I guess I was wrong. I've started hanging out with some other kids all the time. They're pretty nice, and they make good company. I don't really have a lot of common interests with them, but we still hang out during school hours and joke around a lot. It'll never be like the friendship you and I had, but it's better than being lonely all the time. Besides, I still have Dad. I think him and I have gotten a lot closer after everything that's happened. I guess we both realised how fragile life can be sometimes.

I better get going. I have some homework I need to do, and then I have to do my chores. Tell Mom that I said hi. I miss you!

Love, Serena~

X

Ben thought that that Mrs. Irvine was overreacting. After all, the vet _did_ say that her dog would probably be fine, didn't he? Besides, if the thing didn't want the rest of Ben's chocolate bar, then it shouldn't have constantly whined every time he tried to just eat his food in peace. The dog probably wouldn't want to eat human food anymore either, so he was really doing everyone a favor, including himself, because apparently training disobedient animals was a good reason to kick Ben out of the Irvine's household.

His stay with the Irvine's was actually one of the shorter stays he had with a family. After nearly half a decade of bouncing from one home to the next, he had gotten very proficient at breaking people who pretend to be perfect. Of course, he always gave people the benefit of the doubt in the beginning. But not once in his life so far did a family choose to leave him alone. It was as if he was doomed to live around fake people for all eternity. Still, he hoped that the next family would be the one that would give him the space he strived for.

Things didn't _exactly _happen that way.

When Ben first arrived at the latest house, it took an unusually long time for the door to be answered. He was already considering knocking again by the time the door swung open. For a brief moment, he thought that there was nobody there, and the door had somehow opened itself, but then he realised that the person on the other side of the door was just much, much smaller than he was expecting.

In fact, this person was a young girl, roughly the same age as Ben. She gave the boy a warm smile. "You must be Ben! Stay right there. I'll go get my parents." And with that abrupt greeting, she left, leaving Ben still standing by the doorway. After waiting a short amount of time, he decided to just let himself inside, closing the door behind him.

Soon, a man and woman approached him, with the girl from before following closely behind. "Hello Ben" said the man, "My name is Marvin, and this is Cynthia" he gestured to who was likely his wife.

The woman smiled politely. "Let me show you to your room" she said. She started down the hallway, and Ben quickly picked up his suitcase and followed her. He was led to an average looking bedroom with a small bed, a dresser, and a curtained window looking out towards the woods outside. "Will you be needing any help?" Cynthia asked. The way she said it made it seem less like a demand for him to be with her and more like an act of politeness. Ben shook his head. The woman simply nodded and closed the door, leaving him alone.

That wasn't right.

How could he already be alone? Whenever he met a family for the first time, it was usually at least an hour of greetings and an extensive tour of the house, followed by more greetings, until Ben wanted to claw his eyes out and stuff them down the ever-active mouths of the family members. But now, there was none of that. The whole process between arriving at this house and being left alone in his room hardly took only a few minutes, besides all the unexplained awkward waiting. He had already been left alone to himself. Where was the catch?

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Oh, there it was.

"What?" Ben said, annoyed. He couldn't believe he actually thought he had managed to be alone. That would never happen. He would never be so fortunate.

"It's me" said the high-pitched voice of the girl who had first answered the door. "I just wanted to tell you that if you ever get bored, then you'll find all the cool stuff down in the basement. That's where I usually am." Ben then heard her walk away. He waited for one, two, three long moments until he was sure she was gone. When he was certain she had left, he let out a breath he was apparently holding. It seemed he actually was alone, somehow.

It couldn't be that easy, could it? After years of making other people miserable, there was a family who was willing to just leave him be without any encouragement from himself. This had to be a trick. It just had to be. Any minute now, somebody was going to break the door down and start pestering him with trivial things like his hobbies and interests and how he was going to love his new home and life.

But nobody came. The more Ben waited, the more it became apparent that he was really alone. These people didn't care about him. He was finally isolated with his thoughts, after all these years of hard work. He could finally reflect on everything he had gone through, and how different his life had become.

But there was a problem.

It was a problem that seemed so obvious, that Ben felt like a fool for not realising it much earlier. A problem that made years of ruining the lives around him seem like one gigantic mistake. In fact, it made his life of loathing and hatred feel like just one big waste of time.

Somewhere along the line, Ben had forgotten his early life. It made sense, really. He had only been toddler at the time his mother died. The fact that he could even remember those events on that ill-fated stormy night was astounding. But other than that sole bleak occasion, he had very little recollection of his mother and father. He remembered that he loved his mother, since they were both in the same unfortunate situation together, but he couldn't seem to recall any other reason he had to love her. He remembered that his father was an awful man, and knew that he had beaten him once, but he couldn't remember the actual event. All of that had vanished. Ben had lost himself without even noticing.

And because he had forgotten his past life, he had nothing to reflect upon. The reason he had wanted to be alone was so he could take the time to repair his shattered life and figure out what to do from there. But, over time, the fragments that remained of his life were swept away, and he had become an empty shell of who he once was, unable to return. He had no purpose, and his loneliness was now unnecessary.

But maybe it wasn't a total waste. His constant defiance had stopped him from living a lie. He was constantly surrounded by people that pretended to be better than they actually were. Because he stayed to himself, he also stayed true to himself, even when other parts of him were forgotten. But now that Ben thought about it, not everyone he met was extremely phony. In fact, many of the people he had met over the years seemed very genuine in their concern for Ben, even if they ended up smothering him to a point that made him feel suffocated. But he wasn't really being smothered. He just pushed them all away.

Ben had gotten a headache, as he usually obtained when he got frustrated. He now had everything he had ever longed and fought for, but he also now had nothing. He decided to just clear his mind by unpacking. He still didn't have many personal belongings. He never realised until then that everything that had originally come from his first home had been replaced by something newer. This aggravated Ben. He longed for something that would remind him of his past, of who he once was, of what he lived for. But there was nothing.

Maybe he could be somebody else. Or maybe he could still be the same person he always was, and just live differently. Maybe he hadn't really forgotten himself, but simply evolved. Maybe he could change again while still being himself. Maybe he was asking too many questions. Maybe it didn't really matter, in the end.

Only then did Ben notice that he had finished unpacking, and was just sitting on his bed again. He stared at the blank white sheets as if they were the most important thing in the world. Ben suddenly felt drained of all energy. He glanced at the digital clock beside the bed. Somehow he had spent over an hour deliberating on his past actions. He felt a bit tired, but his mind was still too full of thought for a nap. He felt he needed to do something to clear his mind. Maybe once he took a break from thinking, he could come back with a fresh mind and figure out what he would do with the rest of his life.

'_You'll find all the cool stuff down in the basement'_, he rememberedthe girl from earlier saying. While the vagueness of 'cool stuff' was a tad off-putting for him, he was sure it would suffice as an alternative from regretting life choices.

Since he hadn't been given a tour of the house, it took him a while to find the basement. The house wasn't small, but it was rather welcoming and homely, an atmosphere that was likely produced by the various knickknacks placed decoratively around the home. By the time Ben discovered the stairs leading down to the basement, he already had a good idea of what the house's pleasant interior looked like.

The room itself was just as friendly as the rest of the house, but with children's drawings taped next to a portrait hanging on the wall parallel to him. There was a coffee table covered in board games and piles of construction paper with some pieces cut up. The room also had a few toys lying on the floor, abandoned by whoever was last playing with them. But the object that stood out most in the room was a giant television.

The TV actually wasn't that big, but the illusion of a larger size was made by placing it on top of a stout cabinet with glass doors. Looking through those doors, a pile of rectangular objects could be seen, as well as some oddly-shaped remotes. There were also some other strangely shaped devices that Ben could not name. Adjacent to the TV was a large, comfortable looking sofa, and on it sat the young girl from earlier. Her back was facing the young boy, and she stared at the screen in front of her intently.

Ben wasn't sure what he should do. He didn't see any promised 'cool stuff', but then again, he didn't really know what to look for. He didn't know what he was expecting.

"Um... hello?" he said, bringing the girl's attention to himself. She turned around to face him, and when she saw him, she beamed brightly at him. The smile seemed natural to her.

"Hi, Ben. Welcome," she gestured around the room theatrically, "to the best room in the whole house". Ben looked around once again, but the room still seemed as ordinary as it did with his first impression.

"What's so special about it?" he asked. Ben thought that she might get offended by his contradiction, but instead she patted the seat on the couch next to her, motioning for him to seat himself down. Ben briefly considered his options before sitting next to her, uncomfortable due to the sudden closeness of the two of them.

Once he sat down, she pointed to the TV in front of them. "That's what's so special" she said confidently. Ben didn't know what he was looking at. On the screen was some sort of figure with its back turned to the screen, standing silently in the middle of a field. Occasionally the figure would shift a little, but other than that, nothing happened. It was probably the strangest show he had ever seen.

"What is this?" Ben asked. The girl's eyes widened.

"You haven't heard of this yet?" she asked surprised. Ben shook his head. She still wore a friendly smile through her shock.

"Wow, I thought everyone had heard of this game by now," she said, more to herself than to Ben. "This is the newest Legend of Zelda game that came out. It's called Ocarina of Time. I've only had it for a few months, but it's already my most favorite game of all time!"

Ben finally understood what the strange things on the screen were. This wasn't a TV show, but a video game. He had overheard the children at school talking about them, but he had never actually seen what they looked like. From what he had gathered, they were games where you won by pressing various buttons. The concept seemed rather boring, so he had never gone out of his way to learn more.

"What's 'Legend of Zelda'?" he asked the girl. He watched as her eyes widened to the point where they threatened to pop out of their sockets, and her mouth dropped down to her knees in pure shock. For a moment, Ben thought that she was having some sort of heart attack.

"Are you serious? You've never even _heard_ of_ any _of the games?" Ben shook his head. She stared in awe and a touch of horror for another moment before shoving one of the strange controllers into his hands. "No, I _won't_ allow this. You're playing the game right now, whether you like it or not." She said, but didn't actually seem angry at him.

Ben looked back up at the screen and saw that the sun was already beginning to set in the game. He held the controller awkwardly in his hands, not knowing what the buttons were meant for. He stared at the controller in confusion before deciding to move the control stick in the middle of the controller. The person in the game moved along with him. Ben made the figure run in circles for a while, getting used to the feeling of the movements and the controls.

He had a firm grasp on moving around when night fell in the game. Ben thought nothing of it initially, but then something took him for surprise. The skeletons of some strange animal started to rise out of the ground and began to pursue the character on screen. When they touched the figure, he would flash red and a chunk of one of the hearts in the corner of the screen would disappear. Ben ran from the abominations, unprepared for the sudden attack.

"Press 'B' to swing your sword" the girl beside him informed in her constantly perky voice. He isolated the 'B' button from the other buttons and pressed it. The character on screen slashed out a sword that Ben hadn't noticed he had before. He mashed the button several times, and the boy in the game became surrounded in a wall of sharp blades. When a skeleton monster tried again to assault him, the miscreation was repeatedly hit by the sword until it crumpled to the ground and disappeared. Reveling in his newfound power, Ben did the same with the other skeleton that rose from the ground. He quickly found himself enthralled by the action of destroying the monsters one by one, forgetting about his discomfort of being around the girl and settled into his seat with determination. It was as if all the hatred and defiance inside him was forgotten with each slash of his sword. He had been fully enraptured by the simple yet satisfying game when the sun rose and the creatures sank back into the polygonal earth they came from.

"Addictive, isn't it?" the girl said with a satisfied smirk. Ben nodded, now wandering the expansive field in search of more enemies, but none were to be found.

"I didn't think that video games were so..." he couldn't find the word. All he knew was that with only a few minutes of playing, he had completely disregarded his forgetting. The game somehow had a way of sucking away the worries he held onto.

Apparently he didn't need to finish the sentence, because the girl nodded in understanding. Her face, while still surrounded in a fun-spirited air, became very serious. "Whenever I'm stressed out about my parents or school or anything else, or just when I'm bored, I come down here. Games have a way of helping me forget about my problems. Even when there's nothing wrong, they help me relax and feel better." She said, looking deep into Ben's eyes.

Ben didn't know what to do or say, which seemed to be a common theme around her. Everything about her seemed so incredibly genuine, as if she couldn't hide anything about herself if she tried. After being around so many fake people, she was truly a comfort.

With Ben's prolonged silence, the girl's cheeks turned rosy red. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get too personal. I do that a lot. I just- I mean, nobody gets why I like games so much. I guess I was hoping that you would like it, so that..." she trailed off, looking down on the floor.

"I like it." Ben said. "And I can see what you were talking about. It has a way of calming me, letting me relax." For some reason, it hurt him to see her sad. He thought his inexperience caused him to do a terrible job at comforting her, but she immediately perked up and started smiling brightly again.

"Really?" she asked. Ben nodded, offering her a small smile. He never noticed before how good it felt to smile, especially when the smile was genuine. The girl grinned even wider. "Do you want to start your own game?" she asked eagerly. He pondered the question for a moment, but his decision seemed obvious.

"I think I'd like that." He said. The girl, ever-smiling, immediately saved and quit her game and went back to the start menu. Ben watched the screen, and saw that there were three save files, but only one was in use. He read the name on the top file, and realised something that was probably important: he didn't know the girl's name. Was the name on the save file hers? There was only one way to know.

"Is Serena your name?" he asked her. Her eyes widened as she stopped what she was doing on the game.

"I didn't tell you my name!?" she seemed shocked. "Sorry, I guess I wasn't thinking. I better introduce myself now." She stuck her hand out towards him. "Hello, my name is Serena. Serena Natsuki Mori. Nice to meet you."

Ben took her hand and shook it. "Ben Raphael Drewett. It's nice to meet you, too." Although he wasn't used to being polite or even kind for long periods of time, something about the girl he now knew as Serena made him feel... he wasn't quite sure how he felt. But he knew he liked her. She was bubbly and full of life, and just being around her seemed to bring about a certain joy he never felt before.

He was supposed to be mad. He was supposed to be angry for forgetting about his past life, and all his work spreading anarchy being for naught, and having to put up with people who refused to leave him alone, and losing his purpose and direction. But for some reason, it didn't matter to him at that moment. He was with Serena, who he enjoyed more and more with every passing moment. And he was about to start playing Ocarina of Time, which had a mystical way of making worries insignificant.

"Here, I'll let you put in your name." Serena passed the controller to Ben, who was glad to have it back. He quickly punched in 'B-E-N' and hit the END button before Serena had time to object.

"You're not supposed to use all capital letters" she pouted. Ben smirked at her.

"I don't play by the rules" he said cheekily. Really, he was just too lazy to go to the lower case letters, but he wasn't about to tell her that. She shot him an arrogant look.

"If you can't even put your name in right, then you'll never beat this game" she said with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Ben smiled.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked, his competitive tendencies coming out.

"If you want it to be." She said with a small shrug, still wearing a half-smile half-smirk. Ben nodded to her. Now he had a clear objective: to fully complete the game as soon as he could. With determination, he selected his newly created save file and started up the game.

"_In the vast, deep forest of Hyrule..." _the game said in white text. Ben settled into his seat, excited for what was to come. In less than a day, his entire life had changed dramatically. He had no idea what was to come for him, but he did know one thing: Things would be a lot more fun from now on.


	4. Sink

Chapter 4: Sink

~Dear Ben,

Today, Dad and I went out to the lake for the first time in what feels like _forever_. The two of us have been so busy lately, so we haven't had time to keep that family tradition alive. But today is a Saturday, and its summer, and it's absolutely wonderful outside, so we decided to make the time to go out and have fun while the weather was still nice. I'll admit that it was really weird to go out on the lake without Mom with us, but I think we both had a really good time. I can't speak for Dad, but it reminded me a lot of back when things were... simpler.

You know, I always felt so bad leaving you alone while the rest of us were having fun in the water. I would be enjoying myself, watching the water and bathing in the sunlight, and then I would turn around to see you. You would just be sitting by the shore, watching our red boat circle the lake. You always seemed so lonely by yourself, but you always insisted on coming with us instead of staying home. And then, of course, you were always invited to the boat with us, but you insisted on staying on land. I guess we couldn't really blame you. After what happened to your mother as well as what happened the first time you went with us, I think you were allowed to have your water phobia.

I've gotta admit, I really wish you had let me teach you how to swim. It probably would have helped you conquer your fears, and then you could have gotten on the boat with us. And maybe you'd still be here. No, wait, forget about that. I won't start thinking about it. I've done enough of that already. What happened is sad, but it's over, and all I can do is keep moving forward.

So I guess I wrote this because Dad and I went to the lake, and I miss you. In hindsight, this wasn't the best excuse to write to you. I guess you were just on my mind. And whenever you're on my mind, I feel like I'd be ignoring you if I don't write to you, even if you'll never read this. Anyways, I need to go, but I promise I'll write you again soon.

Love, Serena~

X

It was a simple question. So simple, in fact, that the answer should have been obvious. But nevertheless, it was a question that plagued Ben since his first day with the Mori family. He kept telling himself that he didn't care whether the answer was yes or no, but eventually he couldn't keep lying to himself. It had gotten to the point that he just needed to know. So, one day, he approached Serena, posing his simple yet heavy question.

"Do your parents hate me?"

She immediately paused her game and looked at him with wide eyes "_What?_" she said, shocked with both the implications and abruptness of the question.

"Do your parents hate me?" Ben repeated matter-of-factly. Serena just stared at him in awe, as if he had just grown a third eye and lost his nose.

"Of course not!" she said. "Why would you even think that?"

There were many ways that Ben could have answered that question. He could have told her about how they spent less than five minutes with him when meeting him for the first time, or how they hardly ever spoke to him, or how they hardly ever spoke _around _him, or how they just generally didn't seem that interested in them. But he didn't say any of those things. Instead, he just shrugged. "I don't know."

Serena gave him a look that seemed to say 'I know you're lying'. Ben looked away from her. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have said anything. He should have just let her keep playing the game. He could still feel her gaze on him.

"Ben..." she scolded. He sighed.

"They just don't seem that interested in me. I can't figure out why they would be foster parents if they don't want anything to do with me. The only reason I can imagine is if they hate me" he admitted. He looked up at Serena only to see that her expression had changed to one of compassion and empathy.

"Don't worry about it. My parents... they're not really good at affection. They work a lot, so I think that they sometimes forget how to act around those they love." The reflective way she explained that made it seem that Serena herself had that explained to her at one point. He ignored that and shot her a quizzical look.

"Are you saying that your parents love me?" he asked. She thought about it for a moment before responding.

"Maybe not yet, but I'm sure that they'd feel just like I do if they got to know you better." At that moment, Ben didn't realise that she had given him a compliment and questioned her further.

"But how are they supposed to get to know me if they always push me away?" It was only until after he had said it that Ben noticed the irony of that statement. He had spent his life pushing his foster families away from him, and now that he wanted affection, he was being pushed away by the parents.

Serena thought about his question for a moment, until a wide grin grew across her face. "I think I have an idea" she said. She got up from her seat on the couch and started towards the stairs. "I'll be right back. You just stay there, ok?" she said, and bounded up the stairs before Ben could respond.

He considered going up the stairs after her and spying on her, just to see what she was planning, but decided against it. She had told him to stay in the basement, and doing otherwise seemed like it would be some sort of insult to her. After staying with the Mori's for nearly two months, he had certainly gotten attached to Serena. In only a short time, her bubbly and outgoing personality had definitely altered his own personality quite a bit. He found himself being in higher spirits. He had gotten used to joking around with Serena and playing games with her. He had also ceased his troublemaking habits, making sure to be kind to his new family. These were changes he enjoyed very much...

Wait, did Serena just imply that she loved him?

He heard Serena descending the stairs. He turned to see her wearing a giant smile that stretched from ear to ear. She was practically bouncing over to him.

"Why are you so happy?" Ben asked her. She just grinned more as she sat down next to him and looked into his eyes.

"Tomorrow. Get hyped" she said. Ben raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"_What?" _he said, but Serena just smiled excitedly. "What's happening tomorrow?" he asked, but she failed to elaborate. Ben kept asking her questions, but she refused to say another word, yet continued to wear that same smile for the rest of the day.

X

Ben woke up groggily, the warmth of his bed pleading him to stay in its hold until the end of time. It almost won, but Ben managed to will himself away from the cozy fortress before he was once again taken away by slumber's sweet embrace. He had stayed awake longer than he normally would have, wondering what his friend had in store for him that had made her so excited. Now, of course, he wanted nothing other than to sleep, but the same curiosity that kept him awake gave him the strength to get up and get dressed, although he did so rather lethargically.

He dragged himself down the hallway and towards the kitchen. He saw that both Serena and her parents were already awake and having breakfast. He sat himself on the empty chair and poured some cereal in an empty bowl that was set out for him.

"Good morning Ben!" Serena sang. She seemed even happier than yesterday, and was so energetic that her body seemed to be in constant motion. Ben simply nodded at her and started working on eating his cereal. She tilted her head to the side.

"Hey, why so grumpy?" she asked innocently. Ben glared at her.

"I'm grumpy because you couldn't take one second to tell me what was happening today, so I spent _all night _wondering about it instead of sleeping." He deadpanned. Serena either didn't pick up on his accusing tone or simply chose to ignore it.

"Well, I promise that you'll feel better soon, because today is going to be really fun! Isn't that right?" She turned to her parents. Her mother, Cynthia, nodded.

"We thought this was a great idea when Serena suggested it. I hope you'll enjoy what we have planned today, Ben" she smiled. Her smile was smaller than more tame than her daughter's, but it was still very similar. Ben could tell that Serena had gotten hers from her mother.

Ben stopped eating his cereal and tiredly smiled at her out of politeness. "I'm sure I will" He wasn't really mad at Serena. He wasn't sure if he even could be. And her mother, despite not talking to Ben very much, was always exceptionally courteous to him. She had a sort of elegance to her that always made her seem blissful and content.

Ben finished eating his breakfast, now feeling more energetic thanks to the food. He placed his bowl in the sink, where he would wash it later. He had begun to take on some of the household chores, including doing the dishes every other day.

"We'd better get going" said Serena's father as he got up from his seat. Everyone else got up from their chairs and put their dishes in the sink. Serena's father, much like her mother, seemed kind and considerate to others. He didn't speak as much to Ben as his wife did, but still treated him with respect. He also worked longer hours than his wife, so he always seemed a bit more tired than her, but was always willing to help Cynthia and Serena when they needed him. Considering some other fathers Ben had lived with, Marvin Mori was far from the worst.

The four of them filed out of the door, Ben stepping out last. He expected them to go into their car, but instead walked away from it and down the beaten path into the woods surrounding the house. While the home itself was not very extravagant, it was protected by plenty of trees and who knows what else. Serena had shown Ben around the woods multiple times, but he had a feeling that he had only scratched the surface of what was hiding in there.

His feeling was confirmed when he noticed that he didn't recognise the area that they were in. It didn't take them long to reach their destination, but when they did, Ben was completely shocked with what he saw. He froze in place and was overcome with a sudden horrific sinking feeling.

"Surprised?" Serena said cheekily. Ben only stared with eyes wide open. Any part of him that was still tired was snapped awake with a sudden rush of fear; a rush that apparently went unnoticed by the others around him.

"These woods aren't actually private property, but people just assume it is since the area is so small and our house is so close. So that means that we pretty much have the lake all to ourselves" she said, looking out at the large body of water. The hot sun shone down on the lake, making light shimmer and twinkle on its surface. The water itself was sky blue and seemed perfectly clean. It stretched very far and seemed very, _very _deep. "Isn't it beautiful?" she sighed.

"Um, y-yeah, sure..." Ben said, trying and failing to hide his discomfort. Oddly, Serena didn't notice. Perhaps he was better at hiding his fears than he thought.

"Oh, you're going to have so much fun!" She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer to the water. Only when she led him closer did Ben realise that there was a large, red rowboat on the shore waiting for them. There was just enough room inside of it for four people.

"We're going inside _that?" _he pointed to the boat. Serena nodded excitedly.

"Uh-huh. Bet you've never gone on a boat in your own personal lake, have you?" she smiled widely. Ben shook his head anxiously. He watched as Marvin and Cynthia pushed the boat to the edge of the water. Serena's father waved to them, signalling for them to climb into the boat.

"Um, Serena?" Ben started uneasily. She looked at him with wide, shimmering eyes that seemed full of joy. And she was smiling, always smiling, that smile that said that brought joy to all who saw it. He gulped. "I-I don't think I can do this."

He watched as she deflated, her glee suddenly escaping from her. "Oh..." she said dejectedly. Ben could hardly look at her hurt expression, but forced himself to bear through it. "Why not?"

Ben searched for a good answer, but found none. "I... I just can't."

Suddenly, Serena grabbed Ben's hands and held them tightly in her own. "Please? Would you come with us? Just this once?" Her innocent brown eyes stared deeply into his uneasy ocean-blue ones. Ben could hardly stand the strain. He had no choice but to either face scars that should have healed long ago or disappoint his only, yet most valued friend. He glanced over to the large, deep body of water, and back at Serena, and sighed.

"Just this once." Ben told her. Her face instantly brightened up again. She let go of his hands, only to gift him with a sudden hug. Ben tensed up in surprise, but then returned the embrace. He could do this. For her.

Serena eventually released him and the two made their way to the boat, where the couple were still waiting for them. If they had witnessed their exchange, they gave no clear sign of it. The three of them hopped into the boat without flourish. Ben slowly and unsurely eased himself into the small vessel, taking caution as to not rock it. At one point, he was certain that it was about to capsize, but the trio did not react to the rocking, and he managed to steady himself. Eventually, he managed to fully step into the boat and sit down next to Serena. He let out a shaky breath. He hoped that would be the hardest part.

Each holding onto a paddle, Serena's parents abandoned the shore and made for the center of the lake. Ben tried his best not to look at the water and pretend he was still on dry land. When that didn't work on its own, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine that he was still in the woods, protected by the plentiful trees, but the sound of the boat slicing through water made it near impossible. He tried for one, two, three moments before giving up and opening his eyes again.

He looked at Serena. She stared at the water that passed by, already seeming completely entranced by the tiny waves. She wore a content expression that did not at all match her hyperactive state earlier. It seemed going out into the water relaxed her the same way that her games did. Ben felt intense jealousy for her ability to enjoy herself and not worry if someone would hop out of the boat and drown themselves without warning.

He decided to try and follow her lead, so he looked over his side of the boat and stared at the water. He could feel his heart racing, and he felt as if his pounding heart would destroy him from the inside, but he stared into the water anyways. At times he thought he was able to make out the bottom of the lake, but he could never tell if it was simply his mind playing tricks with him or not. His breathing refused to regulate, and he started to feel a dull pain in his stomach. He felt sick, but he still ignored it and stared into the water.

Water. Water is what gave life, Ben told himself. It makes plants grow, therefore creating food that is necessary for survival. It also steals the air from your lungs and causes you to slowly suffocate. Thousands upon thousands die each year because of water, and every single time a family is left broken and scattered. Young children are left alone in a world that seems like a lie until they forget who they are. Water takes lives away.

Ben brought his knees up to his chest. He could still see the slight silhouette edging towards the furious water. He still heard the small yet terror-filled shriek as she fell into the murderous water, and heard the silence that followed as her screams were continued underwater, where they were stolen away from his own ears. He still felt the tears that flooded down his face as the moon peered out from behind the blackened clouds.

"Ben?"

Ben stared into the water. He couldn't look anywhere else. He was trapped.

If even one of these people that he had grown attached to sank into the water, he would lose them, just as he had lost his mother. Why had he allowed himself to become attached to them? Everyone he cared about always would up leaving. And now, they were about to be snatched away by the cruel hands of the watery depths. He was about to be left alone again. He didn't want to be left alone. He couldn't be left alone.

"Ben, what's wrong?"

He wouldn't allow it.

He managed to pry his eyes from the deep lake and to the people around him. All three of them were now staring at him, their expressions riddled with concern. Ben noticed that his face had been made damp by tears that he had thought were just a memory, but he ignored their intrusion. All he cared about at that moment was saving his new family the way he couldn't all those years ago.

Ben shot up from his seat and shoved past Serena's parents, knocking them around on the small boat. He grabbed onto the paddles that were now left unattended, holding one with each hand. He frantically tried to paddle back to shore, but he only succeeded in rocking the boat to and fro.

"What are you doing?" said Serena's father in fear. He tried to take the paddles away from the boy, but Ben did his best to fight back. He was determined to save them, even if he wound up at the bottom of the lake. He tried his best to shake the man off, but he was bigger and stronger than himself. "You're going to tip us over!" He shouted at Ben, but he didn't listen. All he cared about was protecting his loved ones from the harsh waters.

The boat knocked from side to side as the two of them wrestled for the paddles, the man pleading Ben to stop. Out of his peripheral vision, Ben could see Serena and her mother huddled close together, both watching the feud with wide eyes. They finally realised the danger they were in on that lake. Ben fought harder for control on the paddles, but found it difficult with the constantly increasing turbulence.

Eventually, it seemed that the older man finally had the paddles to himself, but Ben wasn't ready to lose yet. He grabbed onto one of the paddles with both his hands and yanked as hard as he possibly could. Serena's father lost his grip on it and let go, sending Ben flying to the side of the boat with the paddle. He tried his best to balance himself, but the sudden change of weight placement caused to boat to tilt violently. He tried his best to grab onto something, anything, but he reacted too late.

The boat upturned, sending Ben into the water.

He thrashed his arms and legs around in attempt to stay afloat, but could do nothing to stop gravity from sending him on his long journey to the bottom of the deep lake. His head was already below the water by the time he thought to scream. His shouts were left muffled by the thick water, so all he accomplished was allowing the liquid to intrude his lungs faster. He tried his best to kick his legs and rise to the surface, but he continued to sink.

His lungs quickly begged for air, but he could do nothing to relieve the pain. He never realised how much he loved air until it was taken from him. While the rest of him sank, his vision began to swim, and he found that the pain in his chest was making him woozy.

He closed his eyes, waiting to meet his fate.

Ben didn't notice the arms that had grabbed onto him until they pulled him up above the water, filling his world with sound and colour once again.

Ben gasped heavily and coughed up the water that had gotten inside him, shaking uncontrollably. He was cold and wet and frightened, but he was also very alive. Once he stopped coughing, he looked up to see Serena's father holding him in his arms, keeping him safely above the water. He looked down on him with concerned and empathetic eyes. Behind him, Serena and her mother swam in place with ease, sharing the same expression. It seemed they didn't need his protection after all.

Tears began to escape from his eyes once again. He tried his best to stop them, to remain strong, but just couldn't handle the pressure. He quickly became wracked with uncontrollable chokes and sobs. He had nearly drowned, just as his mother did, and just as he feared his new family would.

Serena's father held him in a tight hug, holding him close. "It's okay. You're safe" he told Ben gently, rubbing his back soothingly.

_You're safe. You're safe. You're safe. _Ben told himself that over and over in his head. He couldn't stop shaking and crying. He tried his best to make himself believe it, but just couldn't seem to. He was still in the water.

He held onto his father tightly, letting his tears flow freely.


	5. Adventure

Chapter 5: Adventure

~Dear Ben,

Two years. It's been two whole years since I wrote that last letter. Two. Whole. Years. And do you know what the worst part is? At the end of that last letter, I promised I'd write again soon. I understand that time is subjective, but I'm pretty sure that _two years _does not qualify as 'soon'. I'm so, so sorry. I can't believe I ignored you for so long. I hope you're not mad at me. I'm already mad enough with myself as it is.

Since I last wrote, I've started high school. It's kinda like middle school, except the cafeteria food tastes slightly better and people are pretending that they're adults while they still act like children. You're not really missing out, since it's not much of an adventure, but I do feel more mature now. It seems so weird to me that we were only twelve when we last saw each other. It feels like so long ago since I was that young, but it also feels like just yesterday we were still one big family. Time can be so weird sometimes. It always goes by at the exact same speed, but certain moments seem to go faster or slower than others. I guess it's all about perspective.

Now that I think about it, not much has changed in my life since last time I wrote to you. I haven't been following the new Zelda games, but I heard that they made a new game that takes place in the ocean. I know Nintendo has no way of knowing about either of our lives, but it still seems like some sort of twisted tease. 'Oh, our biggest fan drowned? Let's fill the next game with water!' In all honesty, I don't know if the game is any good, but I think I'll skip it. After all, I still need to start playing Majora's Mask. I've been putting it off for way too long. I've just been procrastinating too much. I'll get to it soon. I'll talk to you later, ok?

Love, Serena~

X

It was a full moon that night. Ben knew this, for he spent a good portion of the day and night staring out his window. It was all he could do. Once he had been dragged home after the chaotic trip to the lake, he had hidden himself inside his room and refused to come out for anything. His mother was forced to bring his dinner to his room and set it on the nightstand. She had tried her absolute best to comfort him during her visit, but Ben ignored her. The meal still sat there, now cold as the water he sank into that day.

And, of course, Serena tried to apologise to him repetitively. She had told him, from the other side of his shut door, that she was sorry and that it was her fault that he fell into the water, since it was her idea to go to the lake in the first place. Ben ignored her as well. He wasn't angry at her; if anything, he was thankful that she was safe despite his irrational fears, but he just couldn't bring himself to speak to her. Eventually she left him alone, hopefully understanding that it was what he wanted instead of assuming something awful and untrue.

He had not heard a word from his father.

_This isn't the first time you've wanted to be alone, _he thought to himself, _and look where that got you. _Ben shook his head, trying to rid it of intrusive thoughts. _No, no, no_, he thought, _this is different_. He didn't want solitude this time. He just needed a day, maybe two, to cope with what had happened. He had experienced an event that not only put him in danger, but also reminded him of traumatic events from his past. He just needed to be alone for now because nobody would understand or be able to help him.

It had never come up exactly how he became an orphan. Ben wasn't sure if he could even call himself that, since his biological father was most likely still alive somewhere, but he had no other title. He didn't really feel like an orphan either, since he had come to see the Mori's as his own family. But none of them had any idea what he had gone through. They were likely very confused about what caused him to go off the deep end earlier that day, or at least figuratively so.

But still, they were there for him. Serena felt incredibly guilty about what happened, and his mother was very concerned about him. And his father had saved his life.

Ben sighed at the full moon. There was no way they could possibly understand, yet still they cared for him. Perhaps they really did love him. Even though his parents couldn't always express it, they cared about Ben and were there for him even when he pushed them away. They had no idea why he had become so distraught on the boat, yet they were all there to help and support him.

He had to admit, he felt horrible for pushing them away. Before, he would have loved seeing others miserable because of him. He couldn't believe he was once such a monster. The act of ruining the lives of others did not seem worth the thrill for him anymore. He knew he never wanted to be that person again. He knew that he would apologise to his family for his behavior. And most of all, he knew that they would be there to help him if he needed them, and that he would do the same for them.

He turned his back to the moon outside, and left his bedroom. He quietly padded down the hall until he found the room he was looking for. He gently rapped on the door. When he received no response, he knocked again.

"Yeah?" answered the groggy voice of a person who was just woken up.

"It's me," Ben answered quietly. He heard the sound of movement on the other side of the door before it finally opened, revealing the suddenly more alert Serena. He walked into her room and she closed the door, leaving the two alone together. "I'm sorry." Ben whispered.

Serena smiled gently. "It's alright. I'm just glad you're okay," And she meant it. Ben could tell; he knew her all too well. She wouldn't have said it if it weren't true.

Ben looked down on the floor. "Serena, can I tell you something?" She nodded, and she meant it. There was no backing out at this point. He had to tell her. It would be okay. She could help him. Ben waited for one, two, three long moments before he somehow gathered the courage to continue. He sucked in a breath.

"When I was little, I saw something happen to my mother..."

As he told the story, he carefully watched Serena's expression. It didn't take long for her innocent smile to disappear, and at moments she looked like she was about to cry, but she kept listening, hanging onto every word he said as if the story were the most important thing she would ever hear. When he finally finished telling his twisted adventure, he himself struggled to keep his tears at bay. He felt a soft hand rest on his shoulder.

"Don't worry," Serena told him, smiling through her own tears, "It's okay now."

And she meant it.

X

Things mostly went back to normal in the Mori household. In fact, many things only improved for the family. While Ben's parents still remained somewhat distance, as it seemed to be in their nature, there also seemed to be a sense of love between them. Serena's bond with her brother and dearest friend solidified, and the pair became almost inseparable. And they continued played the game. The two worked together to beat hard enemies and intricate puzzles in their favorite game, despite technically still playing it on their own.

Until one day, months later, something happened that they knew was possible, but never truly thought they would experience on their own.

Ben couldn't stop staring at the screen in front of him. His eyes were wide open and his jaw had dropped to the floor. Even after watching the entirety of the credits and the cut scenes after them, he could hardly believe what he was watching. "What just happened?" he asked.

He was answered by his sister, who was sitting right beside him the whole time, and had watched the whole ordeal. She wore the same expression as him. "I think you just beat the game." The screen in front of them slowly faded to sepia tone, and the words 'The End' appeared on the center of the screen. "Yeah, you definitely just beat the game." She confirmed herself. Ben couldn't pry his eyes away from the television. His journey, that had lasted him many months, had now come to an end.

"What happens now?" Ben asked. This was the first game he had ever played to completion, and he didn't really know the protocol for when the game is finished. Really, he never thought he would actually beat the game. He knew that it had an end, but just assumed that he would never live to see it.

"I guess... you play a different game?" Serena suggested. Ben shook his head solemnly.

"There's no way any other game will be as good as this..." he said sadly. Then, he thought for a moment. Then, he had an idea. Perhaps, since this game was so brilliant...

"Does this game have a sequel?" Ocarina of Time would be the perfect game for a sequel, Ben thought. The game was absolutely groundbreaking, and the world had so much left to explore and expand on. They could make the game even better, and they could create a new story based off of the somewhat open ending. Ben started to get himself excited. Why _wouldn't _there be a sequel?

Serena shook her head. "No, they haven't made one." Ben could practically hear the sound of his own bubble bursting. He slumped down, disappointed. Seeing his disappointment, she added "Don't worry. This isn't the first Zelda game ever made, and I'm sure it won't be the last," she said with a smile.

Ben sighed. "It probably won't hold up. No way it'll be as good," he frowned. Serena ignored Ben's sour mood and shrugged, her smile transforming into a bit of a smirk.

"Maybe it won't be as good, but we both know you'll play it anyways," she teased.

Ben glared at her, but couldn't hide his own smile trying to break free, "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Serena continued to smirk. "Nothing," she said innocently. Ben gave her an annoyed sigh, though he wasn't truly angry at all anymore.

"You're right. I'd play any other Zelda game I can get my hands on," then, he had another idea. "You don't have any others, do you? You know, some older ones that came before Ocarina?"

Serena shook her head. "Nope. We only have a Nintendo 64, and Ocarina is the only Zelda game for it." More bursting bubbles could be heard. Silence washed over the pair, Ben's returning grumpiness flooding the room. Neither of them knew what to say.

Finally, Serena spoke up. "So what are you going to do until the next game comes out?"

Ben thought about it for a moment. There were other games he could play, but none of them would be the adventure that this one was. He could find something else to do in his spare time, but video games were all he really knew that was considered normal for children his age. Before he played them, he had nothing. He was barely a child at all.

Ben scooted from the couch to the floor and approached the console. Without hesitating, he pressed the reset button.

"Looks like it's time for round two," he said determinedly, ready to go on an adventure.

X

Ben shoved his hands in his pockets, mentally cursing himself for not bringing gloves to school with him. Or a winter jacket, for that matter. During his classes, snow had begun to fall fiercely, covering the land with pure-white snow that briefly sparkled in the sunlight before the grey snow clouds covered the sky. This brought joy for many of his classmates, for the sudden increase of snow meant building armies of snowmen, pillaging others with snowballs, and most importantly, the possibility of school being cancelled the next day. But for Ben, who had never been an outdoorsy person, it only meant an unwanted blast of pure winter force he would need to face once he stepped out of the bus.

Seated next to him, Serena hugged her backpack close to her body as she looked out the window, staring at the world outside the bus that had been blanketed with chilling ice. Snow continued to fly downwards with the harsh wind, uncaring of what it would come in contact with. "We're going to have to go into that, aren't we?" Ben nodded solemnly, knowing that there was no way the snowstorm would let up anytime soon.

Serena frowned. "This is better not ruin everything," she muttered silently to herself, only just barely loud enough for Ben to hear.

Ben raised a brow. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

A sudden blush covered Serena's face as her eyes widened. "Did I say that out loud?" she asked, and Ben nodded. Her blush deepened, and she shook her head fast. "Just forget about it."

Ben looked over at his sister darkly. "You know how much I hate secrets," he said to her. Serena clutched her backpack tighter and looked down at the muddied floor.

"I know, but, well, you see..." she trailed off, noticing that the bus had stopped in front of the pathway to their house. "Oh look, we're home!" she exclaimed, a bit too happily.

Quickly, she grabbed Ben's arm and rushed out of the bus, the pair receiving an angered shout from the bus driver. They ran up the icy pathway as fast as they could without slipping and falling. By the time they made it inside the warm home, they were covered in tiny white crystals that glimmered as they melted under the house's lights.

Ben brushed the snow off of himself, though his mind was still focused on the previous conversation. "What was it that you said was ruined?" he asked.

Serena looked down at the ground and shifted her feet. "Well, it's not _ruined,_ per se, but the weather kinda made today a bit of a downer, so..." she trailed off again. Ben glared at her intensely.

"What are you _talking _about?!" he shouted at her. He could feel his temper rising fast. He knew that he should remain calm, that he had no reason to be angry, but he couldn't control himself. Serena studied the floor closely, never meeting his gaze.

"I'm not supposed to tell you until our parents get home," she said quietly. Ben noticed how uncomfortable she looked, and tried his best to withhold anger. However, his curiosity had been stirred, and he simply could not allow the subject to drop.

"Tell me what?" he asked, more calmly this time.

Serena remained quiet for several moments before she finally sighed in resignation. "I guess I've lost, haven't I?" she said. "Sit over there. I'll be right back," she pointed to the sofa in the living room before she started towards her bedroom down the hallway. Ben felt a cloud of shame engulf him, the realisation of his behavior finally setting in.

"Wait!" he called out to her suddenly. She stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked back at him. "I'm sorry..."

Serena gave him a warm smile. "Don't worry about it. You were going to find out soon anyways. Might as well be now," she said before ducking into her bedroom.

Ben just stood there. _Why must she always be so optimistic? _He thought this to himself before sitting down on the living room's plush sofa and waiting for Serena to return.

He could feel his own curiosity trying to burst out of his body. Before that day, he had no clue that anything had been happening behind his back. Then again, he had not been overly observant as of late, as he became more and more consumed by his favorite game. He had become determined to find every secret and collectable hidden within the game, down to the very last green rupee. He wasn't sure if he could actually achieve this, but he loved the game so much that he didn't really care. He really played the game so he could escape from reality; pretend he was on an epic quest to save Hyrule and Princess Zelda. He loved the feeling of being a hero almost as much as he loved the girl who introduced it to him.

When Serena emerged into the living room, he noticed right away that both her hands were hidden behind her back. He tried to look around her and see what she was hiding, but it was no use.

"Like I said earlier, I wasn't supposed to say anything until our parents got home, but I guess you're just too clever for me," she winked at him, and Ben smirked back at her. He was glad to see she wasn't mad at him at all for ruining the surprise.

"This was actually supposed to be a Christmas present, but I convinced Mom and Dad that you should get it right away," she continued. "So don't be surprised if you don't get anything from me on Christmas day, alright?" Ben nodded. So she was giving him a present? He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but that took him for surprise. He didn't usually get a lot of gifts. He had never been extremely spoiled in his lifetime.

Serena thought for a moment before continuing. "Okay, close your eyes and put out your hands." Ben did so, and soon after he felt something small being placed into his palms. It felt a bit warm, most likely from Serena holding it. He felt the item in his hands, his eyes still closed, feeling every seam on the flat object. The shape felt familiar, though he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

He heard a girlish giggle. "You can open your eyes now," she said. He did, and he looked down at his hands, now truly able to see what his gift was.

The object was one he had come to know very well over his few years living with the Mori family: a flat, rectangular thing with an outwards curve on top. A Nintendo 64 cartridge, though this one seemed much less worn and used than the ones in the basement. The cartridge itself was nothing special, but the label plastered in the middle drew his attention. The sticker showed a familiar boy in a green tunic slashing his sword. Above him floated an image of an unsettling mask. Beside the mask was the game's title, 'The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask'.

"Is... is this...?" Ben searched every part of his mind for the right words, but they were lost to him. He felt completely dumbfounded. He had been under the belief that there were no other Zelda games for the Nintendo 64. That was what Serena had told him. Had she lied?

As if his own mind was answering him, he suddenly remembered what his sister had told him. '_This isn't the first Zelda game ever made, and I'm sure it won't be the last'. _She had told him that after he had first beaten Ocarina of Time. This new game must have come out without him even knowing, and Serena had kept the new adventure a secret in order to surprise him.

"Sorry it's not wrapped. I don't really know how to do it myself." Serena interrupted his thought. Ben looked up to see that she wore a shy smile and blush on her face. Her brown eyes were studying him carefully, trying to read his reaction to the gift.

Ben looked into her eyes, and quietly he said with a small smile, "Thank you so much, Serena. Thank you for everything."


	6. Broken

Chapter 6: Broken

~Dear Ben,

Hey, guess who just got her very own driver's licence! That's right, now I can drive wherever I want without any supervision. Well, at least according to the law. Dad still won't let me go driving alone. He's been so overprotective since you and mom left. I guess that makes sense, but I'm almost an adult now. You'd think he'd let me off my leash once in a while. I'm not twelve anymore. I can take care of myself. But even though he may smother me a bit, I still love him. I know he's just scared of me getting hurt again. I have to admit, part of me really enjoys overprotective Dad. You and I both know how distant our parents used to be. Now that Dad's taken more time to be with me, I can't help but feel more appreciated. I guess limited freedom is worth all this affection.

Oh, and there's another thing I wanted to talk about. Well, not actually talk, since this is a letter, but you get the idea. A few days ago at school I mentioned you to one of my friends. I'm not even sure how you came up in the conversation, but you did. I told her about how I write to you sometimes when I feel lonely. She told me that it's weird, and that I should just get over you. I never once thought before now that what I'm doing is 'weird'. It's not like I haven't gotten over you, either. I've accepted the fact that you're gone long ago, and I'm living my life just like anyone else does. I write these letters to let you know that I still think about you. Is it really that weird to miss your loved ones?

But it's not like you'll ever read these letters or anything. Not unless you somehow managed to come back, but I don't really believe in that sort of stuff. Things like angels and ghosts and magic only exist in fairy tales and urban legends. So I guess I'm writing these purely for myself. I admit these letters make me feel better after I write them. Maybe I'm not completely over you. But I don't feel sad or grief-ridden. I don't know what to think anymore.

How do you know if something is wrong when it only feels right?

Love, Serena~

X

There was a time where Ben considered Ocarina of Time to be the best game ever made. And he would be lying if he said it didn't still have a special place in his heart. It was the first game he ever played, and the first one that ever fully enraptured him and took him on his own adventure. Before he played the game, he was nothing more than a shell of a child that felt it necessary to make others miserable and depressed. The game offered him a place to escape, a place where he could be a hero instead of a villain. It was that form of escapism along with much selfless love and support from Serena that helped transform him from that hollow entity into a young boy who would risk anything for those he loved most.

But Majora's Mask changed all that.

It was very much like Ocarina of Time. It looked the same, sounded the same, and at times even felt the same. But there was one difference that made the new game seem so special to the boy. The boy who, despite changing so dramatically over the years, was still the same child that came from a broken home, watched his mother commit suicide, and shut himself out from the world for years afterwards.

The game was beautiful. There was nothing Ben didn't love immediately when playing the game. While Ocarina of Time was an epic adventure, Majora's Mask was sad and solemn and stunning from the moment it began. While he still felt like a hero, there was a constant fear that he would not be able to save the world and the people that he met caused by the looming moon and steadily moving timer. Ocarina was great to escape from reality, but the stakes never felt quite as high. If Ben died, he could just restart at the last save point. In Majora's Mask, the threat of death was always lurking close by. He could also meet and interact with all the people in Clock Town, getting to know them and see their lives and knowing that there's a possibility he won't be able to save them in time.

Unfortunately, Serena didn't share the same opinion as him. She refused to play Majora's Mask on account of not fully completing Ocarina of Time herself yet, but would occasionally watch Ben play through the sombre sequel. And, despite how much Ben tried to convey the game's magnificence, she could never understand.

"It has the exact same controls," she argued once. "It plays exactly the same. I don't really see what makes it so much better."

Ben smirked at her. "Maybe you should actually look at the screen instead of the controller, then." Serena swatted him in the back of the head playfully, rolling her eyes at her insolent brother. "Hey!" Ben yelped at the unexpected attack, but his attention was still aimed towards more pressing topics.

"You know that's not what I meant." Serena stated, "I'm just saying that they pretty much just remade the game." Ben thought for a moment, trying to find a way to explain just what made the game special to him.

In the game, he switched to the first person view and directed the camera towards the sky. "That's what makes this game so different," he gestured to the screen theatrically.

Serena narrowed her eyes slightly. "The moon? How would that change the game?"

Now it was Ben's turn to roll his eyes. "It changes _everything_. If you don't awaken the four giants in three days, that moon will crash. Everyone in Termina, including you, will die a terrible death, and then Majora wins. These people you see walking around, just trying to live their day? All dead, unless you do something _right now._"

Serena pondered on Ben's words for a moment before nodding at him in assumed understanding. "Cool. That's a pretty neat game mechanic." Ben groaned dramatically. Serena blushed, her smile becoming somewhat coy. "I guess that's not what you were trying to get across." Ben shook his head.

"No. No it was not," he replied. "But I don't think you'd get it if I just explained it to you. You need to experience it for yourself," he hinted not-so-subtly.

Serena smiled back at him. "Nice try, Ben. We've been over this before. Majora's Mask is _your _game. Not mine. I'm not going to go and hog it from you."

Ben slumped down in his seat. It didn't seem fair. He was having one of the most amazing experiences of his entire life, and the one person he wanted to share it with wouldn't even consider it. "You're too nice," he muttered.

Serena smiled. "Yeah, I've been told that before," she said, oblivious to the turmoil she was causing her brother. "But honestly, I don't think I'd like it as much as you anyways."

Ben raised a brow. "Why not?

Serena tilted her head, searching her mind for an appropriate explanation. "It's relatable to you. The game, I mean. All this thematic stuff with the sad undertones and the subtle emotions is pretty much 'you'. It appeals to you because you know what it's like to feel that. It's..." She paused, looking for the word, "nostalgic for you. But not for me. I wouldn't get it."

Ben pouted. "Yeah, I guess..." but he didn't want to believe it. He wanted her to be just as happy as she made him, but it didn't seem like that was possible. She deserved the best, yet received nothing. Ben was a wreck before he met her, and now she wouldn't even accept his offer to play his game. It was, at the best, incredibly frustrating for him. Even if she wouldn't like Majora's Mask as much as him, she still deserved something from him. She would just invent excuses to refuse what little possessions he could offer. There was nothing he could do. He had nothing that she wanted.

But what if he could get something she wanted?

Ben resisted the urge to groan at his own ignorance, for the solution now seemed incredibly obvious to him. However, he failed to hide a giant grin that broke out across his face. This idea, this simple, perfect idea, was the key to solving the problem that plagued him. He could show Serena a small portion of all the joy she gave to him, and she would feel no guilt for accepting the display of affection.

"Hey, why are you so happy?" Serena asked him. He simply grinned to himself, marveling at his perfect plan.

"Nothing," he said, but his grin widened. He couldn't control it. He knew exactly what to do. There was no way it could possibly go wrong. His plan was completely foolproof. Soon, Serena would see just a fraction of how much he cared for her, which was more than he had ever hoped to achieve.

Serena smirked back at him. "Huh. You'd think that somebody who hates lies would try to avoid it," she laughed to herself. "You can't even follow your own rules."

X

Upon further investigation, Ben later decided that his plan was not quite as genius as he originally thought. In fact, it was so obvious that anyone would be able to come up with it. If Ben was only the slightest bit improved at selflessness, he probably would've thought of it years ago. But since blatant displays of affection were never quite his forte, he decided to call his plan perfect anyways. Besides, just because the plan was simple and obvious didn't make it any less perfect.

It was actually one of the simplest things a person can do for a loved one. Ben was to give Serena a present. Only, it wouldn't just be any present. He had seen some of his classmates with a certain item at school, and both he and Serena became instantly jealous of whoever owned it. However, neither of them was able to get the item in question, since money wasn't the easiest thing for two twelve year olds to come across, or at least in large quantities. But if Ben could find a way to get the gift, Serena would surely love it. And since the gift would technically be hers, she would have no excuse not to accept it.

But before he could even think of that, Ben needed to find some money. So, when he was certain that Serena was not within earshot, he tracked down their father, who was reading silently in the study, and asked him a simple question.

"Can I have a job?" he asked him.

His Dad raised a brow, peering at Ben past the thick book in his hands. "Why would you want a job?" he asked.

Ben shoved his hands in his pockets. "Reasons."

The book was placed down onto a table. "What kind of reasons," his voice remained level, though part of its tone revealed a hidden trace of amusement.

Ben studied the carpet. "...You know... reasons..." the carpet was fairly clean. There were no obvious traces of dirt. It must have been vacuumed recently.

His Dad couldn't help but resist a small chuckle. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm following you right now."

Ben sighed. He was hoping to keep his plan a secret, but it seemed like that wouldn't come to fruition. "... I want to get Serena a present. I need money," The carpet was a very heavenly shade of brown. It suited the color scheme of the rest of the study fairly well. It wasn't dull, but it didn't strain his eyes, either.

His father's voice broke his concentration on the floor. "That's great. I'm glad you're thinking of your sister. But there's something I think you're forgetting." His voice was gentle yet also academic, like a teacher that refused to raise his voice as he scolded his students. Ben looked up to see his face.

"What is it?" In a brief moment of horror, he worried that there had been an oversight in his seemingly simple plan.

His father looked him square in the eye. "Ben, I know you love this family very much, and we all love you too. But you also hate people."

Ben's eyes widened in shock of his sudden bluntness. "_What? _I don't hate people!" he whined. His father gave him a stern look that seemed to say _yes you do._

"Then tell me, Ben, have you ever had a friend other than Serena?" Ben didn't even have to think, he already knew the answer. He looked down at the floor, now glaring at it as if the plush carpet was the cause of his problems.

"I don't need anyone..." Ben muttered. He could see his father nodding his head in the corners of his vision. Neither of them needed to say anything, they both know who was right. Ben tried his best to ignore the current situation, now studying every fine detail of the carpet hat he could see. The texture appeared reasonably soft, but not incredibly so.

Eventually, his father broke the awkward silence that filled the room. "Ben, we both know you'd be miserable working with others," he said, but the true meaning of the words lingered in the air. No, Ben would not be getting a job. It was final. Ben could already feel his heart beginning to break. "However," he added, "Since you're doing this for Serena, I think it's fair that I help you. I'll give you money if you help out around the house. Does that sound okay?"

The carpet suddenly became incredibly boring to him, and Ben peeled his eyes back to his father. He felt a joyous grin spread across his face, unable to contain his glee and relief. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he said, and before either of them knew it Ben had embraced his father in a warm hug, which was returned in kind. For that brief moment, the two felt a unique form of bonding spark between them, something that was incredibly rare for the pair but also very special and valued.

When the embrace inevitably ended, Ben's father returned to his parental demeanor. "You realize that you'll still need to work for the money." It wasn't a question, but Ben still nodded enthusiastically. "And you'll need to work a lot if you want something more expensive." Again Ben nodded.

His father smiled. "Great. I'm glad we've made an agreement." He then reached over to the book that he had put down earlier, considering their conversation over. However, there was one more thing that Ben needed to be sure of.

"Dad, can you do me a favor?" He looked over at the boy and gave a small nod. Ben quieted his voice, as if doing so now would stop anyone from hearing their previous conversation. "Can you keep this a secret?" he asked. "I want it to be a surprise." Once again he nodded, not saying anything but his eyes filled with understanding.

"Thank you," Ben said softly, and then leaved his father's study, feeling as if he somehow gained more than what he asked for.

X

Ben sat nonchalantly on the living room sofa, watching closely as Serena and his mother stood near the front door shuffling on their jackets and shoes. He struggled not to act too invested, but he couldn't resist counting every moment the pair remained in the house. Every instant they were in his presence felt like agony, yet he kept on pretending that it was just another normal day for everyone. He studied everything in the room other than the two girls.

Although they were completely clueless, this was the very day that he had spent months upon months planning and preparing for. He had spent all that time secretly completing odd jobs for his Dad and saving up money to buy a certain gift for a certain sister of his. All the necessary cash had been saved up for a while, and for weeks he was forced to simply wait for a way to sneak out of the house without his absence being noticed. But now that the two were leaving the house, Ben's plan could finally become a reality. Unfortunately, that required the two to actually _leave, _an event that was slowly becoming more and more implausible.

"So how long are you going to be gone for?" Ben asked, trying to sound as casual as possible as to not rouse suspicion. Although he was very skilled at causing mischief, his skills at lying, as Serena informed him many times, were terrible. Though hopefully, since he wasn't as much lying as retaining information, his perfect plan would still be successful. After all, he had managed to keep his secret so far.

"Just for a few hours," his Mom said. "We'll definitely be back before evening. We just wanted to meet up for a little bit. Just a casual get-together." A couple days before, she had met with one of her old friends. The two agreed meet up in order to catch up on all the years they were separated. Always excited to meet new people, Serena decided to join her mother for the trip. Recognizing a great opportunity when it presented itself, both Ben and his father decided to stay at home. Or at least that was what they claimed.

Ben nodded. "Alright. See you later," he said, trying almost too hard to sound uninterested in them, but simultaneously trying to usher them to leave quickly. He was growing increasingly impatient with every passing second, and there were things that still needed to be done.

His father, who was standing next to the front door, addressed the two girls. "You two have lots of fun, alright?" His wife nodded to him elegantly, while his daughter beamed with her typical uncontained joy.

"You too, Dad!" she exclaimed, gifting her father a warm hug. When she let go, she turned towards the living room and waved at the irritated boy. "See you later, Ben!" she called, and he replied with a small smile and wave, still trying and failing to act somewhat bored as he lounged on the sofa.

At long last, the two parted from the household. Ben blatantly avoided watching the car pull out of the driveway and follow the road directing to town. He and his father stayed perfectly still, waiting one, two, three long moments to be certain the girls were truly gone. When it seemed that they were deserted, Ben jumped up from his seat, breaking his mask of indifference and letting his true excitement show.

"Alright, let's go!" he said to his father, who also appeared to be excited, though his joy was more a result of Ben's own happiness.

Within seconds they were out the door and on their way towards town. The ride itself somehow felt like seconds compared to the time it took for Serena and her mother to leave. It was as if time itself had been slowed down to a near halt and then rapidly sped up to make up for the error. Within only moments, they had reached their destination, and Ben was scouring the various aisles of a store, searching for the certain item he had been saving for. Unfortunately, it seemed as though the gift wanted to remain hidden.

But, just when it seemed as though the item had never existed and all hope had nearly died, Ben noticed something in the corner of his vision. A small box, easily able to be held in one hand, was placed along the aisle along with the other technological merchandise being sold at the store. The box showed a small rectangular device with a blue casing, and a screen on the top that displayed multihued text that simply read 'Game Boy' and 'Nintendo' written underneath it. Ben picked up the box, inspecting it as if to see if it was actually real and not some broken or bootlegged version. When he finished pretending to know how to tell the difference, he found himself smiling openly.

It was exactly what he wanted.

He eyed the price and recounted his money, hoping that he brought enough to pay for the device. His eyes widened when he found out just how much more money he had compared to what he needed.

"Did you find what you wanted?" his father asked him. Knowing very little about gaming or technology in general, he chose to simply hang back and leave his son to his own devices.

"Yeah," Ben replied, "Give me a second." Since he had more than enough money, he could also get something to go along with the present. Ben didn't bother to hide his smile. He practically skipped over to where he saw the Game Boy Color games. Looking at the prices, he saw that he could afford to also purchase one game. He searched the wall of games, looking for the one that cried 'Serena' and 'I love you'.

It was that very mindset that caused him to notice the game. Blue was Serena's favorite color, which was the color plastered on the majority of the box. But it wasn't until he actually read the title of the game that he knew how absolutely perfect the game was for her. The box showed an all too familiar boy in green holding some sort of colorful rounded lyre. Underneath him floated the title 'The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages'.

"Everything alright over there?" his father asked, as if there was an invisible barrier preventing him from entering the aisle. Ben, now more upbeat than ever, found himself chuckling at his Dad's odd tendencies.

"Coming!" Ben yelled, snatching the game from the wall and meeting up with his father. He had, once again, gained more than what he asked for.

X

The girls still weren't home when they came back, as they expected. Ben took the time to hide the presents underneath his bed. When Serena came home, he would tell her to sit and wait on the living room couch, just as she once did to him, and he would give her the game and handheld console. She would take one look at it and be happier than she had ever been in her life. Ben knew just how much she wanted a Game Boy Color, and how she loved Legend of Zelda just as much as he did, if not more. She would thank him and call him the best brother ever and she would finally understand just how much he loved her.

When the gifts were appropriately hidden, he began to gaze outside, searching for any signs of a car driving by. He couldn't wait for Serena to arrive!

As it turns out, he would need to.

X

Ben flipped through some old books he had found lying around. He would read the first few pages, and then the last few, and then try to guess what the story was about. It was a game that he created out of boredom, and it did not entertain him as much as he hoped it would.

He didn't expect Serena and his Mom to take so long. He was constantly debating whether or not to leave his post and go back to his game where he could be a hero, but he wanted more to be with Serena. He could be a hero in real life. But as it turned out, being a hero wasn't as fun as he thought it would be.

X

Ben was back to looking out the window. The sun was beginning to set, embracing the world in one last peaceful glow before making way for the ghostly moon. There was still no sign of the girls. Each minute stretched out, each one feeling like its own individual eternity. But Ben stayed by the window, hoping that every shadow would be his mother and sister.

And although he'd hate to admit it, there was a part was frightened. Over and over again he repeated to himself in his head that they were safe would be coming home any minute. Unfortunately, the part of him that was scared also didn't believe that.

X

Tiny pinpricks of sparkling light slowly began to cover the blanket of darkness that was the night sky. Ben's mind became a broken record, constantly repeating 'they're safe, they're safe, they're safe' as if it would change the truth. He didn't even care about the present anymore. He just wanted his family to be together again.

X

Ben tried to tell himself that he wasn't giving up. He tried to tell himself that he had simply gotten bored with waiting. He tried to tell himself that there were things he still needed to accomplish in Majora's Mask. After all, he only needed to awaken one more giant, and then he could fight Majora and finally beat the game.

But he wasn't really doing anything. He couldn't find the motivation he needed to carry out his quest. All he could think about was the fact that there were only two people inside the household instead of the usual four. All he could manage to accomplish was wandering aimlessly around Ikana, using his newly learned song to randomly warp Elegy statues wherever he stood, and constantly moving his four soulless soldiers around the dead canyon. It was mindless and served no purpose whatsoever, but it was all he had. Everything else was loneliness.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

The sound of rapping was too distant to originating coming from the basement door. Immediately all the sadness and fear that plagued Ben washed away, as if caught by a strong tide. He immediately abandoned his game and bounded up the stairs with overwhelming relief. He dashed straight for the front door where Serena and his mother would be waiting, and he could finally show his sister how much he cared about her.

But they weren't at the door.

His father had already answered the door when Ben arrived, and standing outside was one lone police officer. The man wore a stony expression on his face, making sure to appear professional as he did his duty. His father was blatantly trying to bear the same expression, but it was broken by a trail of tears running from his eyes.

The officer was saying something, but Ben didn't bother listening. In just one look at the scene, he knew everything that he needed to know. Nothing mattered anymore. Everything he feared had come true.


End file.
